One year old

This number is so small, yet soounds so very old to me right now. Today is the day I gave life to my wild child Liam Gage Slaydon. It's mind blowing thinking back a year ago today, literally brings tears to my eyes what happend. One might say it was the overwhelming pain of labor, even the sheer thought of that could bring a girl to her knees. But I know its because time is ticking, and time is love according to Josh Turner. Time is a funny thing, it sneaks up on you when you least expect it and before you know it, you're married with a one year old. ONE year old. It's hard to believe how much a boy can learn in just one year, how much he can grow and imitate the things you do. Thinking back, its hard to even remember that TINY little baby we brought home from the hospital. The transition from zero children, to one.. is hard. A baby changes you, they change your whole perspective on life. Things you thought were so essential, seem insignificant. One of the best parts of becoming a mom was seeing Eric be a dad. Liam is ONE lucky boy, and we are some lucky parents to have such a healthy handsome little man.. even though he can drive us nuts.. sometimes all I need is one big smile from him.. and it changes my whole mood for the day, in a good way. of course !

Enjoy these moments..

I hear this all the time, almost everyday. Coincedentally the "Carpe Diem" phrase is usually accompanied by older women/men.  "Enjoy these moments" they say, as your child is whailing in the checkout line. "It's so much fun" they say, but your up at 3 a.m. changing your sons sheets because he decided to take his diaper off and pee.. everywhere. "It goes by sooo fast" they say, when sometimes bedtime can't come fast enough. Sometimes being told, in a million different ways to seize the moment makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong. I think parenting is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up and so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" those well meaning, cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain. Some people may call me nostalgic, cynical.. whatever you will but parenting can be hard sometimes and I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who often tell me to enjoy these moments be thrown from a mountain. Sometimes my favorite part of each day is spending quality time with Liam and "enjoying these moments".  I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. I'm not in a constant parental ecstacy, I don't laugh and smile all day everyday like the mamas in the parenting magazines seem to be doing. I feel guilty because I get tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over. But I know that one day I'm going to wake up and Liams going to be gone, and I'll be that old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart.