Moving on..

 Today I am 25 weeks pregnant.. I cant believe it! Only three more months and Liam will grace us with his presence (on his terms of course). I also officially started packing to move out of my parents house today. It's bittersweet. Moving out of my parents house is an interesting thing. Most "kids" can't wait to leave, 18 and their gone but I've loved every minute of it.  I close my eyes and remember days long gone by. I sat and thought about my childhood, how seemingly perfect and wonderful it was. Feeling so loved and cherished by my parents and how lucky I always felt to have 2 older siblings. I used to follow them around like their shadows, driving them crazy with my clinginess and high pitched whines, I'm sure. Though I know we've grown older and each moved on with our lives, it's a strange phenomenon, but that's what time will do. These younger-year memories, like commemorative statues are etched and forever in my mind. Singing "twinkle-twinkle little diaper" and honestly thinking that was THE funniest thing. Building snowmen, or at least trying to, for some reason we could just never get it right. Coming home FULL of mud and getting locked out of the house until one by one we received a bath. 

Life moves forward, as it should. We each have our own families now (with the exception of my brother, I sometimes wonder if he'll ever move out. haha.). We each have our own life purposes, sets of priorities, daily routines and paths. I am aware enough to realize, as I've said, that this is the flow of life. That this is good and wonderful for me. I can preserve and maintain that family from the past, accept what we are to each other in my present, and cherish the beautiful family I've recently adopted, and also begun to create my own. I have a wonderful new husband. Families, if we're lucky, are our safe havens. They protect us and offer us strength when we need it, urge us forward when we need the nudge,  and send us off into the world to gain our independence, and one day, find a family unit of our own. Families are always transforming, shifting, growing.

Things may not be exactly the way they were when I was a kid but that's OK. They are not supposed to be. I can honor the way it is now, the lives I and each of my family members leads, and feel joyful that all is flowing forward just as it should. So that’s it.. the stuff that’s been on my mind. A lot of rambling, I know, but that’s what my brain’s been lately. A jumbled mess. One minute I’m excited, the next scared. But I’m on the brink, and I know from experience that this is what “the brink” feels like, standing on the edge of a giant precipice, safety behind me and the unknown below, my heart’s pounding and my head’s hammering, but I know what I need to do. 

Leap.