Becoming a mommy.

It's an amazing thing, how much love you have for your child. While being pregnant your of course like "I love this baby" but its not until he/she is born until you know the true meaning of love. It's true what they say about finally understanding how much your parents love you when you have a baby of your own. This is normally followed by feelings of extreme guilt. Its like an ah-ha moment .." ohh I get it.. wait, I'm an asshole." It's weird to have only known this little person for two weeks and be willing to do anything to make him happy. It's so surreal.. I'm a real mom, and he's my real baby, and this dream I had my whole life actually came true.

Two weeks ago at this very time I was in labor and delivery knowing my baby would be here any minute. So this two week birthday for my little boy, I fully expected to be downing a bud light and frolicking around.. but instead I find myself a lot more sentimental (hormones happen) and missing Eric more then ever.

Two weeks ago today..

I just can't believe our little boy is two weeks old. So far, motherhood is a little different than I expected. I mean, I really don't know what I expected. I have somehow morphed into super nervous highly anxious second guessing myself constantly new mommy. I want to enjoy the little moments more, I want to cuddle him longer, and I want to not freak out when he fusses. Im hoping that the more I get used to being a new mommy, the more I trust my gut.. can breathe deeper and just relax. I've learned that things don't have to be perfect, they don't have to be textbook. I just don't know why I'm so nervous. I've been a nervous emotional wreck since Eric left, the fear of messing up. Spoiling him. Not knowing what to do when he won't stop crying. Being so sleep deprived I won't be taking care of him right. It's hard when your baby can't say "Mom, I prefer sleeping on my nap mat or in my bassinet rather then this swing" or " Mom, I'm screaming because I just crapped myself not because I'm hungry or want my passie" I'm Figuring this mommy thing out, and luckily Liam is a pretty well behaved little fella.

 He was worth the nine months of pregnancy.

The whole crazy 43894729 hospital visits.

and I would do it again in a second.

He's perfect!

Who here is going to use toxic modern medicine to drug your baby during birth?

Ohhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been kinda busy lately. I hope I still have some readers left! I guess its time to play catch up on whats been going on with the Slaydon's. Lets take a few minutes to recount the tale of mister Liam's birth. Wednesday morning June 22nd around 5 a.m. I woke up with real contractions. After having walked around for months with regular and intense braxton hicks contractions and being declared the queen of false labor, I was so ready to feel what real contractions felt like. Clear as the vodka I'd been avoiding for nine months I will tell you..

they feel bad.

Very bad.

I was totally expecting my labor to be empowering, to be a pain that was manageable. I will be the first to wholeheartedly tell you, natural labor?

Not for me.

NOT

FOR

ME.

So I waited about an hour with having these agonizing contractions until finally waking Eric up and just walking to the car. He got the idea. So off we went to Forest General Hospital for the hundredth time. The hour car ride up there felt like a day. The pain from the contractions was blinding. It caught me off guard completely and felt like someone was stabbing me in my back and vagina. (TMI?) Finally, we arrived at the hospital, admitted and I was given a dose of stadol in my IV while I waited for the epidural. This didn't take away my pain completely but definitely made the contractions more manageable. A few minutes later a doctor was giving me my epidural and all was right in the world. I LOVED the epidural. 

Christine + Epidural = Love. forever and ever.

It was unlike anything I'd ever imagined it would be, I could still move my legs and feet they just felt heavy. I just couldn't feel the contractions anymore.. at all. It was amazing! I was so relieved and 3 hours later I was ready to push! This took about thirty minutes. Pushing was a lot different then what I though it would be. You would think that pushing is all fast-moving but its not. You have to wait for a contraction to push, and they come every 2-3 minutes and then you're only pushing for a minute. So its like push, wait for 3 minutes, push, wait for 3 minutes. At any rate, Liam was born at 3:02 pm on June 22. Most of our family and friends were there to greet him into the world. I love this little guy so much. Him and His daddy. Crazy how things work out. It really is.

 Brand new family.

The two best things that ever happened to me.

Me VS Pregnancy

Pregnancy 2 - Me 0

Today, I found out I failed my 3 hour Glucose test. Which all in all means pregnancy hates me. Seriously, I have of course Gestational Diabetes. Diabetes only found in pregnant women.. only 2-10% of women have it. (I'm one of the lucky ones!) Although woman that are obese, older moms-to-be and Non white women are more at risk. I don’t fit any of these risk categories. But that just goes to show it could happen to anyone and of course it would happen to me. yay.

If I don’t get my glucose levels down through diet, exercise and possible medication, the extra glucose in my bloodstream will be passed through Liam’s placenta and cause his tiny little pancreas to start producing extra insulin to combat what I’m giving him! The production of this extra insulin will cause him to grow too big, causing complications during child birth. Enter another yay. I just found out today that I had this so of course I did what any young woman would do, scour the internet for information on gestational diabetes and scare myself silly! Have I mentioned how much I HATE being pregnant? I will not look back on these past couple of months and laugh at all the good times.. ha ha ha.. Because there aren't any. I will not miss being this big. I can barely walk through the grocery store.. today was the first time I've shopped in WEEKS! Do you know what this does to a girl? Yes, it kills me just a little bit inside. Eric is so kind to walk sooooo slow with me.. and carry EVERYTHING. We bought so much stuff for Liam today there wasn't any more room in the car. Guess it's time to upgrade to the Infiniti G :) right Eric?

Money is the motive.

In all seriousness, money matters. I started back at work yesterday, I couldn't take sitting on my whale of an ass any longer. But more than anything.. I missed my paycheck. Yeah, its pretty great having someone else pay your bills for you and just hand you money. But you know whats even better then that? Having someone pay your bills for you and still bring home a paycheck! haha. For those certain people that say money doesn't matter obviously don't need to eat food in order to sustain life. So quit the modern day hippie bullshit that money doesn't matter and life is all about being happy. Money matters and you know it matters. Money may not buy your happiness entirely on it's own but it sure makes it a hell of a lot easier to smile when you have some. It puts a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on your back. So unless your idea of happiness consists of being naked, hungry and homeless, money matters.

I don't know about all of you, but personally I like money so I crawled back to my 9-5 grind. I like not having to run calculations in my head as to whether or not I can afford those fabulous pair of boots I seen at Steve Madden. I like racking up my Victoria's Secrete Credit Card and paying it off the next day. I like buying furniture that comes pre-assembled and truck delivered rather than hauling a heavy cardboard box home filled with faux wood planks and tedious DIY instructions. I like not living in a van down by the river. I like money,. because I like freedom. The two go hand in hand and it's that simple. While I'm sure anyone can scrape by living an unconventional lifestyle, most of us don't want to "scrape by" in life. Scrapping by in life makes few people happy and isn't that exactly what living a unconventional lifestyle is supposed to bring.. happiness and freedom? So how do you get happiness and freedom? It's fueled by dollar bills, yo.

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Pre-term Labor

 Well blog readers, whoever you are. I'm terribly sorry for neglecting you. Life's been a little on edge lately. Dealing with what is in front of me in this particular moment, and letting the rest go. I've been very stressedbecause of all the possible what-ifs and could-be's that may (or may not) be arising in my life soon. So much change, all in the course of a few short months, and I'm left reeling. On the forefront I'm fine, blissfully unaware of all that's fostering beneath. I'm struggling. Struggling with the changes, mostly all good, and in the face of such total uncertainty--place to live, baby, work, etc.--I am striving to control the only things I possibly can. But as I've been reminded recently, life is uncontrollable.

A couple weeks ago I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks. The day before I was admitted to the hospital I woke up with a low-grade fever. Anybody that really knows me would know I don't complain much and go about my life even if I'm not feeling up to par. So as my usual routine I went to work as planned. While at work I kept feeling worse as every hour passed, by the end of my shift I literally felt like death. I took some Tylenol when I got home and checked my temperature only to find out I was burning up. I laid in bed and passed out, woke up at around four in the morning, checked my temp and saw it had gone down to 98. Back to sleep I went to wake up two hours later burning up, I checked my temperature again.. it was 102! A couple minutes later I started having EXTREMELY bad pain in my back and pelvic region. I called my mom and told her to please hurry home and take my ass to the hospital. So off to North Shore we went (big mistake). At first they of course thought I was in labor, I was hooked up to the baby heart monitor and was also monitored for contractions. The nurse then came in and stuck me a couple times trying to find a vein for the IV. Lucky for them I'm pretty damn awesome and could careless about a little needle. I just wanted this pain to subside. After being there for a couple hours I started feeling perfectly fine.. they brought my fever down for 102.8 to 98.9, gave me some Tylenol and sent me home. Yes, home. Without explanation of where that god awful pain was from.

I take my Tylenol every four hours but every hour I'm home I feel worse and started having sharp pain on my right side and back. This pain was not near as intense as before but as my fever spiked it was time to take a ride back to the hospital. Mom and I said screw North Shore and opted for Forest General where my gyno is originally, just a longer drive. I was seen almost immediately and again put on the baby heart monitor and contraction monitor. While I was laying there I found out I was having contractions every two-three minutes. I honestly had no idea I was even having them. Not a clue. I was checked internally but had not dilated. They again poked and prodded at me trying to administer an IV. They took countless amounts of blood to run test to see what was causing my illness. ALL negative. I was eventually started on two different antibiotics until my fever had finally broke. My contractions had finally subsided and I was discharged and sent home thinking everything was under- control. Big relief for me and Eric as he was offshore working.. hours away.. in the middle of the freakin' ocean.

I was home for a good nights sleep, woke up and started having contractions yet again. Yaaay. I REALLY did NOT want to go back to the hospital. I timed them for an hour before eventually hobbling my way to the truck and off to the hospital we went. I was admitted yet again only this time I was told I was in active labor. I was 1 centimeters and fifty percent effaced. Wait a minute, I thought. I am NOT having this baby right now! You have GOT to be kidding me! I was not about to have baby Liam without Eric by my side. Luckily I had my mom there with me the whole time. They gave me numerous shots of Brethine & Stadol, which helped for a couple minutes but the contractions were still coming back. Finally the administered a pretty high dosage of Magnesium Sulfate into me to stop the contractions. Now, from this point on for about the next two days, I was pretty much good for nothing. They had a NICU doctor come in and tell me everything that could potentially go wrong with Liam if I did deliver.. didn't understand a thing he was saying. If anyone has experienced this god awful drug, you know what I'm talking about. Blurred vision, vomiting, breaking out in sweats.. yeah, can you say unpleasant? I was also given two steroid shots to help Liams lungs develop more and give him a better chance if he was to come out soon.

Finally, after a week of being in the hospital I was discharged... only to come back the next day. ha, but hey, whose countin'. I was told not to work, no pelvic exercises (you know) and home to bed. So this pregnancy has just turned out to be everything I never expected. I know he will be worth all the aches and pains. I'm still having contractions EVERYDAY but I'm not dilating which is great. I'm hoping to make it to at least 35 weeks but we'll see. It's going to be a long two months but he's worth every minute of it.

Week 27

Ok, so now that everyone can see I'm a huge fatty now. Goodbye second trimester, Hello third. Liam is getting much bigger these days, I have to be careful when opening and closing doors.. often times I've accidentally shut the door on my stomach. I haven't had any problems sleeping, Its difficult to get up from laying down and having to change positions or get up in the night to pee. Flopping around like a fish to get comfortable gets aggravating but its not unbearable. The physical parts of pregnancy aren't always the best, but once you feel that little person swimming around and kicking in there, it makes all the lame stuff way less lame, and you know for sure that it's totally going to be worth it in the end. So far I've had NO heartburn, NO stretchmarks, NO kankles, NO swelling, NO more back pain, NO more nausea.

 

As the month of April is half over, we've started to accumulate the big things for Liam. We're FINALLY about to move into our own place when Eric gets home from his next hitch. Thanks to family and friends we pretty much have the American essentials.. big screen.. couches.  I'm very much looking forward to it.  I love how involved Eric is with the pregnancy, most guys could careless about shopping and picking out things for their babies. I have to admit I got pretty lucky. Anyways, going this Monday for our 4D ultrasound. I'll post pictures of that.. probably right after I get out hahha. 

 

Until next time :))

Bunny-Boiling Crazy

 

 Have you ever fallen victim of Ernie the Octopus? Ernie the octopus likes starting drama, they like talking about you but 99% of the time the person their talking too could careless about their delusions. It's probably because their ego can't take the fact that their ex has finally MOVED on. Everyone has had and will have bad experiences with Ernie the Octopus at some point in their life, because they're everywhere.

EVERYWHERE.

 

For the life of me, I cannot wrap my brain around the psycho-ex-girlfriend phenomenon. I’ve witnessed it, I’ve been a victim of it. This is not just a female thing either, although we’re probably more relentless, crafty and devious about it. There are plenty of nutso-ex-boyfriends as well.

I don’t want to discredit the pain of being rejected.. it’s awful, almost unbearable. It is certainly enough to make you lose your mind. When the person that your life revolves around is suddenly gone your world crumbles, your sanity is rocked to the core and you feel as though you will never be a complete person again. I get it.

BUT.

Is acting like a straight-jacket candidate really the best way to win your lovers heart back? Really?

I mean, nothing says “I love you” like a dead bunny in a boiling pot, right?

Has this ever happened to you???

Have you ever been the "psycho-ex"???