Me VS Pregnancy

Pregnancy 2 - Me 0

Today, I found out I failed my 3 hour Glucose test. Which all in all means pregnancy hates me. Seriously, I have of course Gestational Diabetes. Diabetes only found in pregnant women.. only 2-10% of women have it. (I'm one of the lucky ones!) Although woman that are obese, older moms-to-be and Non white women are more at risk. I don’t fit any of these risk categories. But that just goes to show it could happen to anyone and of course it would happen to me. yay.

If I don’t get my glucose levels down through diet, exercise and possible medication, the extra glucose in my bloodstream will be passed through Liam’s placenta and cause his tiny little pancreas to start producing extra insulin to combat what I’m giving him! The production of this extra insulin will cause him to grow too big, causing complications during child birth. Enter another yay. I just found out today that I had this so of course I did what any young woman would do, scour the internet for information on gestational diabetes and scare myself silly! Have I mentioned how much I HATE being pregnant? I will not look back on these past couple of months and laugh at all the good times.. ha ha ha.. Because there aren't any. I will not miss being this big. I can barely walk through the grocery store.. today was the first time I've shopped in WEEKS! Do you know what this does to a girl? Yes, it kills me just a little bit inside. Eric is so kind to walk sooooo slow with me.. and carry EVERYTHING. We bought so much stuff for Liam today there wasn't any more room in the car. Guess it's time to upgrade to the Infiniti G :) right Eric?

Money is the motive.

In all seriousness, money matters. I started back at work yesterday, I couldn't take sitting on my whale of an ass any longer. But more than anything.. I missed my paycheck. Yeah, its pretty great having someone else pay your bills for you and just hand you money. But you know whats even better then that? Having someone pay your bills for you and still bring home a paycheck! haha. For those certain people that say money doesn't matter obviously don't need to eat food in order to sustain life. So quit the modern day hippie bullshit that money doesn't matter and life is all about being happy. Money matters and you know it matters. Money may not buy your happiness entirely on it's own but it sure makes it a hell of a lot easier to smile when you have some. It puts a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on your back. So unless your idea of happiness consists of being naked, hungry and homeless, money matters.

I don't know about all of you, but personally I like money so I crawled back to my 9-5 grind. I like not having to run calculations in my head as to whether or not I can afford those fabulous pair of boots I seen at Steve Madden. I like racking up my Victoria's Secrete Credit Card and paying it off the next day. I like buying furniture that comes pre-assembled and truck delivered rather than hauling a heavy cardboard box home filled with faux wood planks and tedious DIY instructions. I like not living in a van down by the river. I like money,. because I like freedom. The two go hand in hand and it's that simple. While I'm sure anyone can scrape by living an unconventional lifestyle, most of us don't want to "scrape by" in life. Scrapping by in life makes few people happy and isn't that exactly what living a unconventional lifestyle is supposed to bring.. happiness and freedom? So how do you get happiness and freedom? It's fueled by dollar bills, yo.

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Pre-term Labor

 Well blog readers, whoever you are. I'm terribly sorry for neglecting you. Life's been a little on edge lately. Dealing with what is in front of me in this particular moment, and letting the rest go. I've been very stressedbecause of all the possible what-ifs and could-be's that may (or may not) be arising in my life soon. So much change, all in the course of a few short months, and I'm left reeling. On the forefront I'm fine, blissfully unaware of all that's fostering beneath. I'm struggling. Struggling with the changes, mostly all good, and in the face of such total uncertainty--place to live, baby, work, etc.--I am striving to control the only things I possibly can. But as I've been reminded recently, life is uncontrollable.

A couple weeks ago I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks. The day before I was admitted to the hospital I woke up with a low-grade fever. Anybody that really knows me would know I don't complain much and go about my life even if I'm not feeling up to par. So as my usual routine I went to work as planned. While at work I kept feeling worse as every hour passed, by the end of my shift I literally felt like death. I took some Tylenol when I got home and checked my temperature only to find out I was burning up. I laid in bed and passed out, woke up at around four in the morning, checked my temp and saw it had gone down to 98. Back to sleep I went to wake up two hours later burning up, I checked my temperature again.. it was 102! A couple minutes later I started having EXTREMELY bad pain in my back and pelvic region. I called my mom and told her to please hurry home and take my ass to the hospital. So off to North Shore we went (big mistake). At first they of course thought I was in labor, I was hooked up to the baby heart monitor and was also monitored for contractions. The nurse then came in and stuck me a couple times trying to find a vein for the IV. Lucky for them I'm pretty damn awesome and could careless about a little needle. I just wanted this pain to subside. After being there for a couple hours I started feeling perfectly fine.. they brought my fever down for 102.8 to 98.9, gave me some Tylenol and sent me home. Yes, home. Without explanation of where that god awful pain was from.

I take my Tylenol every four hours but every hour I'm home I feel worse and started having sharp pain on my right side and back. This pain was not near as intense as before but as my fever spiked it was time to take a ride back to the hospital. Mom and I said screw North Shore and opted for Forest General where my gyno is originally, just a longer drive. I was seen almost immediately and again put on the baby heart monitor and contraction monitor. While I was laying there I found out I was having contractions every two-three minutes. I honestly had no idea I was even having them. Not a clue. I was checked internally but had not dilated. They again poked and prodded at me trying to administer an IV. They took countless amounts of blood to run test to see what was causing my illness. ALL negative. I was eventually started on two different antibiotics until my fever had finally broke. My contractions had finally subsided and I was discharged and sent home thinking everything was under- control. Big relief for me and Eric as he was offshore working.. hours away.. in the middle of the freakin' ocean.

I was home for a good nights sleep, woke up and started having contractions yet again. Yaaay. I REALLY did NOT want to go back to the hospital. I timed them for an hour before eventually hobbling my way to the truck and off to the hospital we went. I was admitted yet again only this time I was told I was in active labor. I was 1 centimeters and fifty percent effaced. Wait a minute, I thought. I am NOT having this baby right now! You have GOT to be kidding me! I was not about to have baby Liam without Eric by my side. Luckily I had my mom there with me the whole time. They gave me numerous shots of Brethine & Stadol, which helped for a couple minutes but the contractions were still coming back. Finally the administered a pretty high dosage of Magnesium Sulfate into me to stop the contractions. Now, from this point on for about the next two days, I was pretty much good for nothing. They had a NICU doctor come in and tell me everything that could potentially go wrong with Liam if I did deliver.. didn't understand a thing he was saying. If anyone has experienced this god awful drug, you know what I'm talking about. Blurred vision, vomiting, breaking out in sweats.. yeah, can you say unpleasant? I was also given two steroid shots to help Liams lungs develop more and give him a better chance if he was to come out soon.

Finally, after a week of being in the hospital I was discharged... only to come back the next day. ha, but hey, whose countin'. I was told not to work, no pelvic exercises (you know) and home to bed. So this pregnancy has just turned out to be everything I never expected. I know he will be worth all the aches and pains. I'm still having contractions EVERYDAY but I'm not dilating which is great. I'm hoping to make it to at least 35 weeks but we'll see. It's going to be a long two months but he's worth every minute of it.

Week 27

Ok, so now that everyone can see I'm a huge fatty now. Goodbye second trimester, Hello third. Liam is getting much bigger these days, I have to be careful when opening and closing doors.. often times I've accidentally shut the door on my stomach. I haven't had any problems sleeping, Its difficult to get up from laying down and having to change positions or get up in the night to pee. Flopping around like a fish to get comfortable gets aggravating but its not unbearable. The physical parts of pregnancy aren't always the best, but once you feel that little person swimming around and kicking in there, it makes all the lame stuff way less lame, and you know for sure that it's totally going to be worth it in the end. So far I've had NO heartburn, NO stretchmarks, NO kankles, NO swelling, NO more back pain, NO more nausea.

 

As the month of April is half over, we've started to accumulate the big things for Liam. We're FINALLY about to move into our own place when Eric gets home from his next hitch. Thanks to family and friends we pretty much have the American essentials.. big screen.. couches.  I'm very much looking forward to it.  I love how involved Eric is with the pregnancy, most guys could careless about shopping and picking out things for their babies. I have to admit I got pretty lucky. Anyways, going this Monday for our 4D ultrasound. I'll post pictures of that.. probably right after I get out hahha. 

 

Until next time :))

Bunny-Boiling Crazy

 

 Have you ever fallen victim of Ernie the Octopus? Ernie the octopus likes starting drama, they like talking about you but 99% of the time the person their talking too could careless about their delusions. It's probably because their ego can't take the fact that their ex has finally MOVED on. Everyone has had and will have bad experiences with Ernie the Octopus at some point in their life, because they're everywhere.

EVERYWHERE.

 

For the life of me, I cannot wrap my brain around the psycho-ex-girlfriend phenomenon. I’ve witnessed it, I’ve been a victim of it. This is not just a female thing either, although we’re probably more relentless, crafty and devious about it. There are plenty of nutso-ex-boyfriends as well.

I don’t want to discredit the pain of being rejected.. it’s awful, almost unbearable. It is certainly enough to make you lose your mind. When the person that your life revolves around is suddenly gone your world crumbles, your sanity is rocked to the core and you feel as though you will never be a complete person again. I get it.

BUT.

Is acting like a straight-jacket candidate really the best way to win your lovers heart back? Really?

I mean, nothing says “I love you” like a dead bunny in a boiling pot, right?

Has this ever happened to you???

Have you ever been the "psycho-ex"???

Dress for less

 lets face it, baby clothes are expensive.. expensive because they grow out of them so fast so your buying TONS of clothes. You definitely don't need to break the bank to find adorable clothes for your little one. I must admit, Eric and I did go a little crazy our first time out buying for Liam. We did however go to the Outlet in gulfport.. so we weren't actually paying top dollar for the Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and Baby Gap outfits. But still, we ended up spending around $400 for only a couple outfits.

Here is just a small handful of the "look for less" items you can find at target and old navy in comparison to other brands:

   Ralph Lauren: $49.50        Target: $8.99

         Ralph Lauren: $25.00      Old Navy: $ 12.40

     Ralph Lauren: $16.00       Old Navy: $3.50

Ralph Lauren: $44.00         Sperry: $23.95 

It's also very helpful when you get bags full of clothes from other people. There is nothing wrong with hand-me-downs, especially when they are soo cute! This also leaves me with more money to spend on his accessories.. like bow ties, neck ties, hats, and leg warmers.  

Until next time.. 

Moving on..

 Today I am 25 weeks pregnant.. I cant believe it! Only three more months and Liam will grace us with his presence (on his terms of course). I also officially started packing to move out of my parents house today. It's bittersweet. Moving out of my parents house is an interesting thing. Most "kids" can't wait to leave, 18 and their gone but I've loved every minute of it.  I close my eyes and remember days long gone by. I sat and thought about my childhood, how seemingly perfect and wonderful it was. Feeling so loved and cherished by my parents and how lucky I always felt to have 2 older siblings. I used to follow them around like their shadows, driving them crazy with my clinginess and high pitched whines, I'm sure. Though I know we've grown older and each moved on with our lives, it's a strange phenomenon, but that's what time will do. These younger-year memories, like commemorative statues are etched and forever in my mind. Singing "twinkle-twinkle little diaper" and honestly thinking that was THE funniest thing. Building snowmen, or at least trying to, for some reason we could just never get it right. Coming home FULL of mud and getting locked out of the house until one by one we received a bath. 

Life moves forward, as it should. We each have our own families now (with the exception of my brother, I sometimes wonder if he'll ever move out. haha.). We each have our own life purposes, sets of priorities, daily routines and paths. I am aware enough to realize, as I've said, that this is the flow of life. That this is good and wonderful for me. I can preserve and maintain that family from the past, accept what we are to each other in my present, and cherish the beautiful family I've recently adopted, and also begun to create my own. I have a wonderful new husband. Families, if we're lucky, are our safe havens. They protect us and offer us strength when we need it, urge us forward when we need the nudge,  and send us off into the world to gain our independence, and one day, find a family unit of our own. Families are always transforming, shifting, growing.

Things may not be exactly the way they were when I was a kid but that's OK. They are not supposed to be. I can honor the way it is now, the lives I and each of my family members leads, and feel joyful that all is flowing forward just as it should. So that’s it.. the stuff that’s been on my mind. A lot of rambling, I know, but that’s what my brain’s been lately. A jumbled mess. One minute I’m excited, the next scared. But I’m on the brink, and I know from experience that this is what “the brink” feels like, standing on the edge of a giant precipice, safety behind me and the unknown below, my heart’s pounding and my head’s hammering, but I know what I need to do. 

Leap.