To each his own.

Nobody prepares you for parenthood, its more of a learn as you go concept. I don't think parenthood is something that can be schooled. To each his own. Everyone is different, their views on how that special little child gets brought up in the world. Even though I was never taught how to be a mom, I always had a firm grip on just what kind of parent I was going to be. I was going to be a parent of steel but parenthood is a funny thing and parenthood has turned me into pudding.

Although, not ALL of my parenting philosophies have been put to the test because, well, Liam is only two months old, yet some of them have. Some of these philosophies included that my baby would be on a strict schedule. I thought I would have no problem with the whole "cry it out" thing and I would so easily train my munchkin into sleeping through the night. Then I had a real baby, his name is Liam. He made me different than the mom I thought I would be, because I never realized a real life baby, different than my imagined baby, makes you into pudding. Before I had Liam I was a firm believer in him sleeping in his crib. I though a baby needs his space and me and Eric need our own space. Babies sleep in cribs and parents in beds. Everyone is happier this way. FAIL.

 Liam sleeps in our bed.

The most surprising thing about co-sleeping with Liam.. more surprising than the fact that we're actually doing it when I never said I would is that... I love it. A lot of times people will ask me about Liam and how he's sleeping and I would regretfully hang my head and answer hesitantly that he's still sleeping in the bed with us because everyone acts like its so unfortunate but I really am starting to embrace it now. Instead of thinking of Liam being in our bed as a problem that needs solving, I am really treasuring this time of him being so small and sweet and wanting to be near us.. and I want to be near him! This is such a special time and it is going by just as fast as everyone said it would. I love that Liam is the first thing I see in the morning. 

Throwing out the rule book and all of my ideas on how parenting should be has really allowed me to open up and enjoy what parenting is, and getting to know our baby and naturally becoming the best parents we can be for him.  So far this has been such an amazing journey and I have been so surprised at myself along the way.  It's good to surprise yourself, i think!

Until another time, but i'll leave you with this picture of our newest little co-sleeper:

He works hard for the money

Eric went back to work last night...

We miss him!

The monkey and me

Today was great.

We did this..

 and this..

A little bit of this..

Liam got his first booger..

and tons of kisses from mommy..

Becoming a mommy.

It's an amazing thing, how much love you have for your child. While being pregnant your of course like "I love this baby" but its not until he/she is born until you know the true meaning of love. It's true what they say about finally understanding how much your parents love you when you have a baby of your own. This is normally followed by feelings of extreme guilt. Its like an ah-ha moment .." ohh I get it.. wait, I'm an asshole." It's weird to have only known this little person for two weeks and be willing to do anything to make him happy. It's so surreal.. I'm a real mom, and he's my real baby, and this dream I had my whole life actually came true.

Two weeks ago at this very time I was in labor and delivery knowing my baby would be here any minute. So this two week birthday for my little boy, I fully expected to be downing a bud light and frolicking around.. but instead I find myself a lot more sentimental (hormones happen) and missing Eric more then ever.

Two weeks ago today..

I just can't believe our little boy is two weeks old. So far, motherhood is a little different than I expected. I mean, I really don't know what I expected. I have somehow morphed into super nervous highly anxious second guessing myself constantly new mommy. I want to enjoy the little moments more, I want to cuddle him longer, and I want to not freak out when he fusses. Im hoping that the more I get used to being a new mommy, the more I trust my gut.. can breathe deeper and just relax. I've learned that things don't have to be perfect, they don't have to be textbook. I just don't know why I'm so nervous. I've been a nervous emotional wreck since Eric left, the fear of messing up. Spoiling him. Not knowing what to do when he won't stop crying. Being so sleep deprived I won't be taking care of him right. It's hard when your baby can't say "Mom, I prefer sleeping on my nap mat or in my bassinet rather then this swing" or " Mom, I'm screaming because I just crapped myself not because I'm hungry or want my passie" I'm Figuring this mommy thing out, and luckily Liam is a pretty well behaved little fella.

 He was worth the nine months of pregnancy.

The whole crazy 43894729 hospital visits.

and I would do it again in a second.

He's perfect!

Who here is going to use toxic modern medicine to drug your baby during birth?

Ohhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been kinda busy lately. I hope I still have some readers left! I guess its time to play catch up on whats been going on with the Slaydon's. Lets take a few minutes to recount the tale of mister Liam's birth. Wednesday morning June 22nd around 5 a.m. I woke up with real contractions. After having walked around for months with regular and intense braxton hicks contractions and being declared the queen of false labor, I was so ready to feel what real contractions felt like. Clear as the vodka I'd been avoiding for nine months I will tell you..

they feel bad.

Very bad.

I was totally expecting my labor to be empowering, to be a pain that was manageable. I will be the first to wholeheartedly tell you, natural labor?

Not for me.

NOT

FOR

ME.

So I waited about an hour with having these agonizing contractions until finally waking Eric up and just walking to the car. He got the idea. So off we went to Forest General Hospital for the hundredth time. The hour car ride up there felt like a day. The pain from the contractions was blinding. It caught me off guard completely and felt like someone was stabbing me in my back and vagina. (TMI?) Finally, we arrived at the hospital, admitted and I was given a dose of stadol in my IV while I waited for the epidural. This didn't take away my pain completely but definitely made the contractions more manageable. A few minutes later a doctor was giving me my epidural and all was right in the world. I LOVED the epidural. 

Christine + Epidural = Love. forever and ever.

It was unlike anything I'd ever imagined it would be, I could still move my legs and feet they just felt heavy. I just couldn't feel the contractions anymore.. at all. It was amazing! I was so relieved and 3 hours later I was ready to push! This took about thirty minutes. Pushing was a lot different then what I though it would be. You would think that pushing is all fast-moving but its not. You have to wait for a contraction to push, and they come every 2-3 minutes and then you're only pushing for a minute. So its like push, wait for 3 minutes, push, wait for 3 minutes. At any rate, Liam was born at 3:02 pm on June 22. Most of our family and friends were there to greet him into the world. I love this little guy so much. Him and His daddy. Crazy how things work out. It really is.

 Brand new family.

The two best things that ever happened to me.

Me VS Pregnancy

Pregnancy 2 - Me 0

Today, I found out I failed my 3 hour Glucose test. Which all in all means pregnancy hates me. Seriously, I have of course Gestational Diabetes. Diabetes only found in pregnant women.. only 2-10% of women have it. (I'm one of the lucky ones!) Although woman that are obese, older moms-to-be and Non white women are more at risk. I don’t fit any of these risk categories. But that just goes to show it could happen to anyone and of course it would happen to me. yay.

If I don’t get my glucose levels down through diet, exercise and possible medication, the extra glucose in my bloodstream will be passed through Liam’s placenta and cause his tiny little pancreas to start producing extra insulin to combat what I’m giving him! The production of this extra insulin will cause him to grow too big, causing complications during child birth. Enter another yay. I just found out today that I had this so of course I did what any young woman would do, scour the internet for information on gestational diabetes and scare myself silly! Have I mentioned how much I HATE being pregnant? I will not look back on these past couple of months and laugh at all the good times.. ha ha ha.. Because there aren't any. I will not miss being this big. I can barely walk through the grocery store.. today was the first time I've shopped in WEEKS! Do you know what this does to a girl? Yes, it kills me just a little bit inside. Eric is so kind to walk sooooo slow with me.. and carry EVERYTHING. We bought so much stuff for Liam today there wasn't any more room in the car. Guess it's time to upgrade to the Infiniti G :) right Eric?

Money is the motive.

In all seriousness, money matters. I started back at work yesterday, I couldn't take sitting on my whale of an ass any longer. But more than anything.. I missed my paycheck. Yeah, its pretty great having someone else pay your bills for you and just hand you money. But you know whats even better then that? Having someone pay your bills for you and still bring home a paycheck! haha. For those certain people that say money doesn't matter obviously don't need to eat food in order to sustain life. So quit the modern day hippie bullshit that money doesn't matter and life is all about being happy. Money matters and you know it matters. Money may not buy your happiness entirely on it's own but it sure makes it a hell of a lot easier to smile when you have some. It puts a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on your back. So unless your idea of happiness consists of being naked, hungry and homeless, money matters.

I don't know about all of you, but personally I like money so I crawled back to my 9-5 grind. I like not having to run calculations in my head as to whether or not I can afford those fabulous pair of boots I seen at Steve Madden. I like racking up my Victoria's Secrete Credit Card and paying it off the next day. I like buying furniture that comes pre-assembled and truck delivered rather than hauling a heavy cardboard box home filled with faux wood planks and tedious DIY instructions. I like not living in a van down by the river. I like money,. because I like freedom. The two go hand in hand and it's that simple. While I'm sure anyone can scrape by living an unconventional lifestyle, most of us don't want to "scrape by" in life. Scrapping by in life makes few people happy and isn't that exactly what living a unconventional lifestyle is supposed to bring.. happiness and freedom? So how do you get happiness and freedom? It's fueled by dollar bills, yo.

.