The joys of motherhood

Well well, It sure has been a long time since I've blogged. I actually almost forgot what password I used for this site. Liam really does take up a-lot of my time, but I've mostly neglected the blog out of pure laziness. I know I know, shame on me. moving on..

My poor guy hasn't been feeling well. Snuffles and a cough. He is also teething which intensifies things. I've been hoping vicks vapor would help but no luck so far.  I have also been surprised at how much this kid learns every week and how much he is growing. Any mom can tell you that. I'm never more happy then when this boy looks at me with those big blue eyes and gives me his biggest smile. He completely changed my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, I might add a little sleep into my schedule but its worth it.BTW: Liam is now and has been sleeping in his own crib, in his own room fora while now.

One thing they don't tell you about motherhood is how many different varieties of bodily fluid you are guaranteed to have on you at any given time. I'm currently sporting spit up in my hair right now. I really cannot wait to get home from work so I can take a shower. All day I've been like what the hell is that smell?..oh me. That's just my hair.. awesome. And there's nothing like walking into a store and looking down at your shirt and thinking "holy crud what is that?... what the F is that!?..." 

But then you just inevitably realize, 

oh shit that's pee or 

oh shit, that's snot or 

the worst one, oh shit, that's shit.

To each his own.

Nobody prepares you for parenthood, its more of a learn as you go concept. I don't think parenthood is something that can be schooled. To each his own. Everyone is different, their views on how that special little child gets brought up in the world. Even though I was never taught how to be a mom, I always had a firm grip on just what kind of parent I was going to be. I was going to be a parent of steel but parenthood is a funny thing and parenthood has turned me into pudding.

Although, not ALL of my parenting philosophies have been put to the test because, well, Liam is only two months old, yet some of them have. Some of these philosophies included that my baby would be on a strict schedule. I thought I would have no problem with the whole "cry it out" thing and I would so easily train my munchkin into sleeping through the night. Then I had a real baby, his name is Liam. He made me different than the mom I thought I would be, because I never realized a real life baby, different than my imagined baby, makes you into pudding. Before I had Liam I was a firm believer in him sleeping in his crib. I though a baby needs his space and me and Eric need our own space. Babies sleep in cribs and parents in beds. Everyone is happier this way. FAIL.

 Liam sleeps in our bed.

The most surprising thing about co-sleeping with Liam.. more surprising than the fact that we're actually doing it when I never said I would is that... I love it. A lot of times people will ask me about Liam and how he's sleeping and I would regretfully hang my head and answer hesitantly that he's still sleeping in the bed with us because everyone acts like its so unfortunate but I really am starting to embrace it now. Instead of thinking of Liam being in our bed as a problem that needs solving, I am really treasuring this time of him being so small and sweet and wanting to be near us.. and I want to be near him! This is such a special time and it is going by just as fast as everyone said it would. I love that Liam is the first thing I see in the morning. 

Throwing out the rule book and all of my ideas on how parenting should be has really allowed me to open up and enjoy what parenting is, and getting to know our baby and naturally becoming the best parents we can be for him.  So far this has been such an amazing journey and I have been so surprised at myself along the way.  It's good to surprise yourself, i think!

Until another time, but i'll leave you with this picture of our newest little co-sleeper:

He works hard for the money

Eric went back to work last night...

We miss him!

The monkey and me

Today was great.

We did this..

 and this..

A little bit of this..

Liam got his first booger..

and tons of kisses from mommy..

Becoming a mommy.

It's an amazing thing, how much love you have for your child. While being pregnant your of course like "I love this baby" but its not until he/she is born until you know the true meaning of love. It's true what they say about finally understanding how much your parents love you when you have a baby of your own. This is normally followed by feelings of extreme guilt. Its like an ah-ha moment .." ohh I get it.. wait, I'm an asshole." It's weird to have only known this little person for two weeks and be willing to do anything to make him happy. It's so surreal.. I'm a real mom, and he's my real baby, and this dream I had my whole life actually came true.

Two weeks ago at this very time I was in labor and delivery knowing my baby would be here any minute. So this two week birthday for my little boy, I fully expected to be downing a bud light and frolicking around.. but instead I find myself a lot more sentimental (hormones happen) and missing Eric more then ever.

Two weeks ago today..

I just can't believe our little boy is two weeks old. So far, motherhood is a little different than I expected. I mean, I really don't know what I expected. I have somehow morphed into super nervous highly anxious second guessing myself constantly new mommy. I want to enjoy the little moments more, I want to cuddle him longer, and I want to not freak out when he fusses. Im hoping that the more I get used to being a new mommy, the more I trust my gut.. can breathe deeper and just relax. I've learned that things don't have to be perfect, they don't have to be textbook. I just don't know why I'm so nervous. I've been a nervous emotional wreck since Eric left, the fear of messing up. Spoiling him. Not knowing what to do when he won't stop crying. Being so sleep deprived I won't be taking care of him right. It's hard when your baby can't say "Mom, I prefer sleeping on my nap mat or in my bassinet rather then this swing" or " Mom, I'm screaming because I just crapped myself not because I'm hungry or want my passie" I'm Figuring this mommy thing out, and luckily Liam is a pretty well behaved little fella.

 He was worth the nine months of pregnancy.

The whole crazy 43894729 hospital visits.

and I would do it again in a second.

He's perfect!

Who here is going to use toxic modern medicine to drug your baby during birth?

Ohhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been kinda busy lately. I hope I still have some readers left! I guess its time to play catch up on whats been going on with the Slaydon's. Lets take a few minutes to recount the tale of mister Liam's birth. Wednesday morning June 22nd around 5 a.m. I woke up with real contractions. After having walked around for months with regular and intense braxton hicks contractions and being declared the queen of false labor, I was so ready to feel what real contractions felt like. Clear as the vodka I'd been avoiding for nine months I will tell you..

they feel bad.

Very bad.

I was totally expecting my labor to be empowering, to be a pain that was manageable. I will be the first to wholeheartedly tell you, natural labor?

Not for me.

NOT

FOR

ME.

So I waited about an hour with having these agonizing contractions until finally waking Eric up and just walking to the car. He got the idea. So off we went to Forest General Hospital for the hundredth time. The hour car ride up there felt like a day. The pain from the contractions was blinding. It caught me off guard completely and felt like someone was stabbing me in my back and vagina. (TMI?) Finally, we arrived at the hospital, admitted and I was given a dose of stadol in my IV while I waited for the epidural. This didn't take away my pain completely but definitely made the contractions more manageable. A few minutes later a doctor was giving me my epidural and all was right in the world. I LOVED the epidural. 

Christine + Epidural = Love. forever and ever.

It was unlike anything I'd ever imagined it would be, I could still move my legs and feet they just felt heavy. I just couldn't feel the contractions anymore.. at all. It was amazing! I was so relieved and 3 hours later I was ready to push! This took about thirty minutes. Pushing was a lot different then what I though it would be. You would think that pushing is all fast-moving but its not. You have to wait for a contraction to push, and they come every 2-3 minutes and then you're only pushing for a minute. So its like push, wait for 3 minutes, push, wait for 3 minutes. At any rate, Liam was born at 3:02 pm on June 22. Most of our family and friends were there to greet him into the world. I love this little guy so much. Him and His daddy. Crazy how things work out. It really is.

 Brand new family.

The two best things that ever happened to me.

Me VS Pregnancy

Pregnancy 2 - Me 0

Today, I found out I failed my 3 hour Glucose test. Which all in all means pregnancy hates me. Seriously, I have of course Gestational Diabetes. Diabetes only found in pregnant women.. only 2-10% of women have it. (I'm one of the lucky ones!) Although woman that are obese, older moms-to-be and Non white women are more at risk. I don’t fit any of these risk categories. But that just goes to show it could happen to anyone and of course it would happen to me. yay.

If I don’t get my glucose levels down through diet, exercise and possible medication, the extra glucose in my bloodstream will be passed through Liam’s placenta and cause his tiny little pancreas to start producing extra insulin to combat what I’m giving him! The production of this extra insulin will cause him to grow too big, causing complications during child birth. Enter another yay. I just found out today that I had this so of course I did what any young woman would do, scour the internet for information on gestational diabetes and scare myself silly! Have I mentioned how much I HATE being pregnant? I will not look back on these past couple of months and laugh at all the good times.. ha ha ha.. Because there aren't any. I will not miss being this big. I can barely walk through the grocery store.. today was the first time I've shopped in WEEKS! Do you know what this does to a girl? Yes, it kills me just a little bit inside. Eric is so kind to walk sooooo slow with me.. and carry EVERYTHING. We bought so much stuff for Liam today there wasn't any more room in the car. Guess it's time to upgrade to the Infiniti G :) right Eric?

Money is the motive.

In all seriousness, money matters. I started back at work yesterday, I couldn't take sitting on my whale of an ass any longer. But more than anything.. I missed my paycheck. Yeah, its pretty great having someone else pay your bills for you and just hand you money. But you know whats even better then that? Having someone pay your bills for you and still bring home a paycheck! haha. For those certain people that say money doesn't matter obviously don't need to eat food in order to sustain life. So quit the modern day hippie bullshit that money doesn't matter and life is all about being happy. Money matters and you know it matters. Money may not buy your happiness entirely on it's own but it sure makes it a hell of a lot easier to smile when you have some. It puts a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on your back. So unless your idea of happiness consists of being naked, hungry and homeless, money matters.

I don't know about all of you, but personally I like money so I crawled back to my 9-5 grind. I like not having to run calculations in my head as to whether or not I can afford those fabulous pair of boots I seen at Steve Madden. I like racking up my Victoria's Secrete Credit Card and paying it off the next day. I like buying furniture that comes pre-assembled and truck delivered rather than hauling a heavy cardboard box home filled with faux wood planks and tedious DIY instructions. I like not living in a van down by the river. I like money,. because I like freedom. The two go hand in hand and it's that simple. While I'm sure anyone can scrape by living an unconventional lifestyle, most of us don't want to "scrape by" in life. Scrapping by in life makes few people happy and isn't that exactly what living a unconventional lifestyle is supposed to bring.. happiness and freedom? So how do you get happiness and freedom? It's fueled by dollar bills, yo.

.

Pre-term Labor

 Well blog readers, whoever you are. I'm terribly sorry for neglecting you. Life's been a little on edge lately. Dealing with what is in front of me in this particular moment, and letting the rest go. I've been very stressedbecause of all the possible what-ifs and could-be's that may (or may not) be arising in my life soon. So much change, all in the course of a few short months, and I'm left reeling. On the forefront I'm fine, blissfully unaware of all that's fostering beneath. I'm struggling. Struggling with the changes, mostly all good, and in the face of such total uncertainty--place to live, baby, work, etc.--I am striving to control the only things I possibly can. But as I've been reminded recently, life is uncontrollable.

A couple weeks ago I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks. The day before I was admitted to the hospital I woke up with a low-grade fever. Anybody that really knows me would know I don't complain much and go about my life even if I'm not feeling up to par. So as my usual routine I went to work as planned. While at work I kept feeling worse as every hour passed, by the end of my shift I literally felt like death. I took some Tylenol when I got home and checked my temperature only to find out I was burning up. I laid in bed and passed out, woke up at around four in the morning, checked my temp and saw it had gone down to 98. Back to sleep I went to wake up two hours later burning up, I checked my temperature again.. it was 102! A couple minutes later I started having EXTREMELY bad pain in my back and pelvic region. I called my mom and told her to please hurry home and take my ass to the hospital. So off to North Shore we went (big mistake). At first they of course thought I was in labor, I was hooked up to the baby heart monitor and was also monitored for contractions. The nurse then came in and stuck me a couple times trying to find a vein for the IV. Lucky for them I'm pretty damn awesome and could careless about a little needle. I just wanted this pain to subside. After being there for a couple hours I started feeling perfectly fine.. they brought my fever down for 102.8 to 98.9, gave me some Tylenol and sent me home. Yes, home. Without explanation of where that god awful pain was from.

I take my Tylenol every four hours but every hour I'm home I feel worse and started having sharp pain on my right side and back. This pain was not near as intense as before but as my fever spiked it was time to take a ride back to the hospital. Mom and I said screw North Shore and opted for Forest General where my gyno is originally, just a longer drive. I was seen almost immediately and again put on the baby heart monitor and contraction monitor. While I was laying there I found out I was having contractions every two-three minutes. I honestly had no idea I was even having them. Not a clue. I was checked internally but had not dilated. They again poked and prodded at me trying to administer an IV. They took countless amounts of blood to run test to see what was causing my illness. ALL negative. I was eventually started on two different antibiotics until my fever had finally broke. My contractions had finally subsided and I was discharged and sent home thinking everything was under- control. Big relief for me and Eric as he was offshore working.. hours away.. in the middle of the freakin' ocean.

I was home for a good nights sleep, woke up and started having contractions yet again. Yaaay. I REALLY did NOT want to go back to the hospital. I timed them for an hour before eventually hobbling my way to the truck and off to the hospital we went. I was admitted yet again only this time I was told I was in active labor. I was 1 centimeters and fifty percent effaced. Wait a minute, I thought. I am NOT having this baby right now! You have GOT to be kidding me! I was not about to have baby Liam without Eric by my side. Luckily I had my mom there with me the whole time. They gave me numerous shots of Brethine & Stadol, which helped for a couple minutes but the contractions were still coming back. Finally the administered a pretty high dosage of Magnesium Sulfate into me to stop the contractions. Now, from this point on for about the next two days, I was pretty much good for nothing. They had a NICU doctor come in and tell me everything that could potentially go wrong with Liam if I did deliver.. didn't understand a thing he was saying. If anyone has experienced this god awful drug, you know what I'm talking about. Blurred vision, vomiting, breaking out in sweats.. yeah, can you say unpleasant? I was also given two steroid shots to help Liams lungs develop more and give him a better chance if he was to come out soon.

Finally, after a week of being in the hospital I was discharged... only to come back the next day. ha, but hey, whose countin'. I was told not to work, no pelvic exercises (you know) and home to bed. So this pregnancy has just turned out to be everything I never expected. I know he will be worth all the aches and pains. I'm still having contractions EVERYDAY but I'm not dilating which is great. I'm hoping to make it to at least 35 weeks but we'll see. It's going to be a long two months but he's worth every minute of it.

Week 27

Ok, so now that everyone can see I'm a huge fatty now. Goodbye second trimester, Hello third. Liam is getting much bigger these days, I have to be careful when opening and closing doors.. often times I've accidentally shut the door on my stomach. I haven't had any problems sleeping, Its difficult to get up from laying down and having to change positions or get up in the night to pee. Flopping around like a fish to get comfortable gets aggravating but its not unbearable. The physical parts of pregnancy aren't always the best, but once you feel that little person swimming around and kicking in there, it makes all the lame stuff way less lame, and you know for sure that it's totally going to be worth it in the end. So far I've had NO heartburn, NO stretchmarks, NO kankles, NO swelling, NO more back pain, NO more nausea.

 

As the month of April is half over, we've started to accumulate the big things for Liam. We're FINALLY about to move into our own place when Eric gets home from his next hitch. Thanks to family and friends we pretty much have the American essentials.. big screen.. couches.  I'm very much looking forward to it.  I love how involved Eric is with the pregnancy, most guys could careless about shopping and picking out things for their babies. I have to admit I got pretty lucky. Anyways, going this Monday for our 4D ultrasound. I'll post pictures of that.. probably right after I get out hahha. 

 

Until next time :))

Bunny-Boiling Crazy

 

 Have you ever fallen victim of Ernie the Octopus? Ernie the octopus likes starting drama, they like talking about you but 99% of the time the person their talking too could careless about their delusions. It's probably because their ego can't take the fact that their ex has finally MOVED on. Everyone has had and will have bad experiences with Ernie the Octopus at some point in their life, because they're everywhere.

EVERYWHERE.

 

For the life of me, I cannot wrap my brain around the psycho-ex-girlfriend phenomenon. I’ve witnessed it, I’ve been a victim of it. This is not just a female thing either, although we’re probably more relentless, crafty and devious about it. There are plenty of nutso-ex-boyfriends as well.

I don’t want to discredit the pain of being rejected.. it’s awful, almost unbearable. It is certainly enough to make you lose your mind. When the person that your life revolves around is suddenly gone your world crumbles, your sanity is rocked to the core and you feel as though you will never be a complete person again. I get it.

BUT.

Is acting like a straight-jacket candidate really the best way to win your lovers heart back? Really?

I mean, nothing says “I love you” like a dead bunny in a boiling pot, right?

Has this ever happened to you???

Have you ever been the "psycho-ex"???

Dress for less

 lets face it, baby clothes are expensive.. expensive because they grow out of them so fast so your buying TONS of clothes. You definitely don't need to break the bank to find adorable clothes for your little one. I must admit, Eric and I did go a little crazy our first time out buying for Liam. We did however go to the Outlet in gulfport.. so we weren't actually paying top dollar for the Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and Baby Gap outfits. But still, we ended up spending around $400 for only a couple outfits.

Here is just a small handful of the "look for less" items you can find at target and old navy in comparison to other brands:

   Ralph Lauren: $49.50        Target: $8.99

         Ralph Lauren: $25.00      Old Navy: $ 12.40

     Ralph Lauren: $16.00       Old Navy: $3.50

Ralph Lauren: $44.00         Sperry: $23.95 

It's also very helpful when you get bags full of clothes from other people. There is nothing wrong with hand-me-downs, especially when they are soo cute! This also leaves me with more money to spend on his accessories.. like bow ties, neck ties, hats, and leg warmers.  

Until next time.. 

Moving on..

 Today I am 25 weeks pregnant.. I cant believe it! Only three more months and Liam will grace us with his presence (on his terms of course). I also officially started packing to move out of my parents house today. It's bittersweet. Moving out of my parents house is an interesting thing. Most "kids" can't wait to leave, 18 and their gone but I've loved every minute of it.  I close my eyes and remember days long gone by. I sat and thought about my childhood, how seemingly perfect and wonderful it was. Feeling so loved and cherished by my parents and how lucky I always felt to have 2 older siblings. I used to follow them around like their shadows, driving them crazy with my clinginess and high pitched whines, I'm sure. Though I know we've grown older and each moved on with our lives, it's a strange phenomenon, but that's what time will do. These younger-year memories, like commemorative statues are etched and forever in my mind. Singing "twinkle-twinkle little diaper" and honestly thinking that was THE funniest thing. Building snowmen, or at least trying to, for some reason we could just never get it right. Coming home FULL of mud and getting locked out of the house until one by one we received a bath. 

Life moves forward, as it should. We each have our own families now (with the exception of my brother, I sometimes wonder if he'll ever move out. haha.). We each have our own life purposes, sets of priorities, daily routines and paths. I am aware enough to realize, as I've said, that this is the flow of life. That this is good and wonderful for me. I can preserve and maintain that family from the past, accept what we are to each other in my present, and cherish the beautiful family I've recently adopted, and also begun to create my own. I have a wonderful new husband. Families, if we're lucky, are our safe havens. They protect us and offer us strength when we need it, urge us forward when we need the nudge,  and send us off into the world to gain our independence, and one day, find a family unit of our own. Families are always transforming, shifting, growing.

Things may not be exactly the way they were when I was a kid but that's OK. They are not supposed to be. I can honor the way it is now, the lives I and each of my family members leads, and feel joyful that all is flowing forward just as it should. So that’s it.. the stuff that’s been on my mind. A lot of rambling, I know, but that’s what my brain’s been lately. A jumbled mess. One minute I’m excited, the next scared. But I’m on the brink, and I know from experience that this is what “the brink” feels like, standing on the edge of a giant precipice, safety behind me and the unknown below, my heart’s pounding and my head’s hammering, but I know what I need to do. 

Leap. 

Robbed by a Nigger (part 1)

So this week I was robbed by a nigger (hence the title) I'm also making this a 'Part One' because I'm sure I'll be burglarized again by a nigger sometime in the future.. cause that's what they do. I actually get robbed by niggers every time Uncle SAM decides to diminish my hard earned check bi-weekly. Dirty heathens, all they do is scrounge for hand-outs and oh no, free food and insurance isn't enough. They have to steal other peoples hard earned commodity. As Peter Griffin would put it "really grinds my gears" & I swear I'm not racist, I totally jam out to Q93. When I say nigger, I do not mean black people in general.

For example, a definition of a black man is Neil DeGrasse Tyson, a well known and respected physcists. A definition of a nigger is that man that stole your bike the other day.

On to something a little more upbeat, went to see Dr. Stewart this past Monday. Liam is doing great. He moves around like crazy and kicked the doctor a couple times while she was trying to get a heartbeat. He's a little rascal. Eric and I went shopping for baby clothes.. boy oh boy did we spend a lot. We also did our registry. We are currently registered at JcPenney and Target. So get out those credit cards and buy us crap! ha, just kidding... kinda. :)

April 18th we go back to see Dr. Stewart, do my glucose test and get our 4D ultrasound! I'm very excited to see Liams features. Oh, did I mention we picked a name?! Yes, its official Liam Gage Slaydon. Still in my second trimester these past couple weeks have been a breeze. No barfies, No back pain. I have a larger appetite these days and have to pee almost constantly but I'll take this over barfies and back pain any-day. I haven't had any swelling and no stretch marks with a total weight gain of 14 lbs as of now. Eric and I might be buying our first home soon (fingers crossed) this was the icing on my cake. Well actually if there were icing, I would have eaten it by now. I'm trying not to let the stress of it all get in the way of the fun and excitement of my first pregnancy.

Fat Tuesday

After "8" Hours of community service at the Picayune-ASPCA, I'm pretty sure they are in dire need of donations. I know what you're thinking, why golly what must you have possibly done to get 8 hrs of community service. Well being the awesome person that I am, I recieved a ticket during my 09' Spring Break and "forgot" to pay it. Ok, enough about me being hardcore with the law. Seriously, someone donate some cash and make it rain on those poor bastards (and by bastards I mean the animals, of course). There was even, not one but two dogs that were returned from their adopted family. How the hell are you going to return an animal that needs a home? ahh who am I to talk, Chico is about to be on a one way trip to the pound if he doesn't stop marking his territory on my shoes.

In pregnancy news- the barfies are gone, completely. Hur-ray. Oh yeah, and did I mention I only had to do four of the eight community service hours because the lady felt sorry for me? Oh, the perks of being pregnant. On the downside, my feet hurt and I want a doughnut.

Gas prices on the road- $3.29 Unleaded, Hotel room in Picayune- $129.95+T, Getting rained on during Mardi Gras- Priceless. :)

OH, BOY!!

Alrighty so I've been pretty busy lately. Except when I'm at work, which is kind of ironic. I'll first catch everyone up on whats been going on the past couple of weeks. My husband and I (ha, that sounds weird) went and had our anatomy scan Feb. 21st. We found out that the little blob inside me, well isn't so much of a blob anymore. As soon as the ultrasound tech said "it's a boy" I immediately looked at Eric and he just had the biggest smile on his face. HE was moving around like a champ.

"I've been watching you, dad ain't that cool?
I'm your buckaroo, I want to be like you
And eat all my food, and grow as tall as you are."

I am now 20 wks and 3 days. I just started being able to feel him move around in my belly. Its hard to explain what that exactly feels like for those of you who wonder, you'll just have to wait and see :)

Things that can make you feel like an idiot almost instantly: Holding other peoples babies.

 You might even want to hold it at first. But as soon as the baby is in your arms, you will realize that holding it was a mistake. What if you break it? What if you drop it? Your hands suddenly feel like giant pieces of useless meat. Why won't its head stay up on its own? What is it doing with its face? Sensing your anxiety, the baby will begin screaming and then everyone will look at you like you are ruining the baby's life but no one will take it away from you. They just stand there and stare at you like you are the worst person in the world. 

 OKAY so here are some Nursery Ideas:

This is the bedding I have picked out.

 

I love the wood wall, very country.

I'm trying to please Erics redneck without gettin camo bedding (yuck)

 

I think I might go with a Grey or Brown rather than light blue.

These letter for his name. 

This light fixture.

 

That's all I have so far right now. Just throwing some ideas around. I don't like themed rooms. Just because I'm getting dinosaur crib bedding, doesn't mean the whole room needs to be dinosaurs.

You got me lost like Nemo

Ok so Eric left for work Tuesday and I'm feeling much like a debbie-downer. I miss the constant of always having someone to talk to.. I mean I always have Chico but believe it or not, he's not much for conversation. I've just been hanging with my good friend, Sir Lost. Do you know him too? He's terrific at kicking you when you're down. He thrives off embellishing your alone-ness; making you feel like you're the only living person for miles and miles, and the folks that are around, well they'd rather stick pins through their eyes than hang with you and your horomones. 

I'm making an executive decision. It's time to kick Lostie to the curb with the other joy-sucking, not-fun, bring-me-down people in my life. Something tells me he'll get along much better with them, anyway. So get lost, Lostie! Next time blah-dom sets in, I'm turning to my real friends. And by "real friends" I of course mean Ben and Jerry. No seriously, I thank my lucky stars that I have some amazingly wonderful women in my life who have taught me the real meaning of friendship. And I feel sorry for those other girls who have yet to learn the lesson. As it turns out, sincere friends are way more fun to play with than mean girls any day. If you're not going to take it from me, at least take it from Lindsay (Lohan, of course).

Oh, and to all the girls that hangout at Teardrop. Don't drink the water, its tainted and you WILL get pregnant... and die.

So, since we're on the subject and all, let's talk about how pregnancy isn't at all what I expected. Actually, I'm not sure what I thought it would be like, but no one ever told me how one day I would be walking around all normal, and the next day I would lose total control of my body for the next 10 months. Isn't pregnancy supposed to be rainbows and magic and puppies and whatever?

Okay,  so lets start with the symptoms.. I've had morning sickness.. and afternoon sickness and evening sickness as well. Rolling waves of nausea come and go. I've thrown up in public restrooms, my car, outside, my hands, plastic bags, paper bags.. just about any container in general. TMI? I can't think about certain things withough gagging and PLEASE capone, do not breathe on me with your doggy breath. Where are the rainbows?

So, we've made it past the first trimester. I don't even know why I just said "we" it seems like i'm doing all the work in this pregnancy. Oh wait, I am. Me and Jesus need to have a serious talk. I mean WTF? I should get off this subject. NEXT. So, my second trimester has rolled around. I'm not yet wearing maternity clothes(thank god). I pretty much LOVE that. I've seen maternity clothes and there all FUGLY. Seriously, maternity designers isn't it bad enough that our stomach, boobs, and various other parts are changing shape and getting larger by the second- please don't make me wear ugly-ass prints and unflattering necklines. Where are the puppies?

We find out Feb. 21 the sex of our baby, and are looking forward to it. This mystery is killing me.. I think it's a girl. I have dreams its a girl. but is it really a girl? In other wedding news, while not quite finished yet, our wedding website is up. We have yet to set a date, i'm waiting for him to get me his schedule for offshore. 
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/ericslaydon&christineball

The greatest love story ever told.. is your own.

Let me do the honors of catching you up on my life. To all of humanity that does not know yet, Eric Andrew Slaydon and I are engaged..

To anyone who could'nt really care to hear, don't read further.

If you think about it, getting engaged, nothing is really different about your relationship, is there? On a technicality, we're still dating.. right? I still check the "Single" box when filling out forms.

But then again, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g's different.

Talk about the future, well, isn't actually "just talk"; it's plans waiting to happen. You continue to check that "Single" box; but every time it gets a tick, is just another time you get further away from "Single" and closer to the "Married". Unlike any other box in marital status' whether it be "Married", "Divorced" or "Widowed" - the  "Single" box is the only box you can never ever go back to. You can go from married to divorced or widowed , and then back again to married - rinse, rewind, repeat. It just kinda shows you how significant getting married really is and how important it is to find the right person to get married to when it comes to the whole scheme of things.

You never really expect your life to turn out the way that it has. It really does seem like yesturday, being a little girl and still believing in santa clause. You find yourself constantly asking "where did the time go?" with no apparent answer. I guess the only real question that matters is "Are you happy?" YES! What's not to love? I have an amazing fiance, yeah, he's literally amazing.

Got my GORGEOUS ring back today after being sized down 3 sizes! I have such tiny hands, and this ring, this ring just makes them look even tinier.

 

Even in rain, she is sun.

So every year I dream of starting the New Year with a bang! Wide awake! Go go, gadget refresh! Bright-eyed and bushy tailed! Ready to rock! Etc! .... and yet these last couple of days I've felt completely the opposite - sleepy and draggy and barely coherent, pajamas for days with little contact to the outside world. My worst symptom of this pregnancy... dog-tired.

13 weeks and counting.

"the two of us we dream like one. the two
of us, the two of us...the two of us take breath
like one. the two of us, the two of us"

I've grown tired of this cold. I live in the south for a reason, to be basking in the rays of sunshine. This year will be a tad different. No more itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini because this year my immobile mass and mournful groans will resemble that of a beached whale.

Things on my TO-DO list:

* Find a house.

*Ultrasound for the babys sex.

*Register.

*Buy a baby name book.

*Learn how to cook something

(something that doesn't require the microwave)

I'd like to start learning how to cook, for some reason Eric thinks im a little under-educated in this department. Apparently Macaroni and Cheese isnt acceptable. Really? It's going to be tough coming home and not already having a home-cooked meal prepared and ready for me to shovel in my mouth. I guess the saying rings true you don't know what you have till its gone. Hopefully in the next coming months I will be the next Rachel Ray, Emeril Lagasse BAM! Hush-yo-mouth cookin' as my dad would put it.

"You really liked my cookies, eh?"

"Not really. I sure do like like you, though..."

When you think of happiness I hope you think of me.

Its been nearly three months since I first found out I was pregnant. My first response? Hysteria would be an understatement. Falling fast, the feeling of overwhelming confusion and shock. The fear of responsibility. Fear of time. Fear of change. When I found out I was pregnant I luckily had a friend to give me advice. Someone who had been in my shoes at one point in time. Someone who understood exactly what I was going through.

When I first found out I was pregnant I couldn't say so aloud for weeks. I choked on my words and swallowed air in their place. "I am pregnant." Me, pregnant. There is something alive in my body and one day it will have a name. Holy Shit! How is it possible? The first few days are the hardest. The most confusing. Like in a dream. Pregnancy so far is the most amazing physical experience of my life. I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done without Eric. He makes everything thats wrong, just seem so right. He is a good man, and I'm so greatful to have him in my life.

 Twenty-seven weeks from now I will look into the eyes of something that was apart of me, is apart of me. A gift, a suprise, a beginning and once again.. Im sure i'll be speechless. Most definitely my life has changed directions and the compass is all out of wack. Most definitely I know that I will find my way...